Before that I need to give a name to the hero of the story. Let’s call him Mr: F. A typical flirt in his words, but he spoke to me frankly (I still believe so!), whenever we were together. Every time he came and sat near me, talking to me about him, his friends, his previous jobs, his alcoholism (We used to talk about everything under the sun very openly), I listened to him with all my heart. Slowly I started feeling a friendly bondage between us. Even though he used to tell me that he loves ‘flirting’ with girls I never felt he ‘flirted’ with me, as he always spoke in a truly matter-of-fact fashion.
Gradually I started feeling that he can become a good friend of mine, someone beyond the usual ‘hai-bye’ relations that I have had in my city life. You may ask me the reasons that lead me to such a conclusion. Nothing much, it’s basically his frankness (as I said I still believe him, unless and until I see something the other way, before me.).
After having a few bad experiences in choosing friends, I wanted to take a slow step, and wanted to know what is in Mr:F’s mind. So I told him very frankly about my wish. He replied that he doesn’t trust his emotions and the way he may handle the relationship with me later on. He feared that he may take a bad move that may spoil our friendship, and hurt me. I assured him that such things won’t happen and I am matured enough to know my limits. But as he had such a strong fear I withdrew from that attempt, and was ready to maintain the good relationship that I had with him. I felt so proud that he told things openly and was so happy that he told me things clearly and was so happy about the fact that he doesn’t want to hurt me through any bad moves from his side.
I started behaving normally from the next day, but I noticed that he was trying to keep away from me. All that started with a silly joke that I cracked in front of him and a few other friends. Taking that as a reason he started staying away from me and behaving rudely. Both of us used to say even worst jokes before, but neither of us bothered to take things to heart.
In the beginning I thought that it was my bad joke that made him move away from me. I told him sorry for what I said, but his reply was shocking, wanna know?
‘Get lost you *****.’
Yes! Exactly the same words!
I was struck dumb; absolutely speechless for a moment when I saw these words in my chat window. When I regained myself from the shock I felt tears rolling down my eyes; yes I was about to cry. I still don’t know why, but those words literally pierced my heart.
I tried talking to him a few more times and yet there was no change in his behavior. Slowly I stopped my attempts as I used to get badly insulted, whenever I tried talking to him.
Gradually both of us started behaving like strangers, and this became a hot topic between the people who know us. Many came up with questions, but I didn’t reveal anything. Finally a mutual friend of ours asked me the reason and I had to literally omit the truth. She later asked him the reason why he is behaving oddly towards me, giving people a chance to cook up stories. The answer that he gave her was absolutely disgusting and silly. He told her that he doesn’t want me to feel some crush for him, and hence felt like staying away from me!
It was a shock for me! The guy who had frankly admitted two weeks before this incident, that he was feeling attracted towards me, turned out very gentlemanly before our mutual friend, making me an ugly face before her.
But lucky I was, as our mutual friend could see my frankness and the pain that I was undergoing, very clearly from my eyes.
Sadly I closed the chapter with a bad note! At times people are not what they seem!
Donno why, but I still want to take Mr: F as a good person, and may be some unavoidable circumstances might have made him say that.
He is still walking around me with his bag of pride, and as I am getting used to it I don’t give much attention to him these days.
Just bad dream which I know I can forget soon! Yes, I want to conclude with such a note! With such a hope!