Monthly Archives: April, 2012

Can things be fine and dandy in life if you are ‘fair’ skinned?

I laughed my lungs out when one of my friends said that he rejected a marriage proposal just because the girl is not fair enough to match with his ‘paleness’. Yes I mean ‘paleness’ for the so called ‘fairness’ that many people around us are obsessed with. What else can describe best this unhealthy obsession for fairness, of which my friend unfortunately is mad with? Typical Indian man! I grumbled and left the place soon, but couldn’t stop thinking about it. How silly of him to put such a stupid reason to reject a girl! However it’s not just he, but the entire society is obsessive about using fairness as the yard stick to gauge the beauty of women, where dark-skinned men symbolized as idols of ‘manliness’ and handsomeness. Here it’s too ironic to see the society making a whole turn round for men.A society that considers fair skin as the benchmark of beauty can never be seen anywhere else than India, the country which guarantees equality for all. One can seldom notice such discrimination among the westerners. I have seen many American guys living happily with black women. But here a fair guy can’t easily accept a dark skinned girl.

Recently I happened to read an article where a beautician is quoted that she couldn’t stop herself from being surprised when a school girl, hardly twelve or thirteen, came to her parlor asking if skin whitening treatments are available. This incident alone can tell us a lot about the ‘unhealthy fairness fetish’ that we still have.

Parents and other family members should make conscious effort not to compare kids and create a feeling that they are biased towards the ‘fairer’ one because the sidelining often starts here. I have heard that difference in skin color cause sibling rivalry. There can be people out there who get mentally hurt when his/her sibling gets more attention just because he/she is fair. This would lead to uncontrollable anger, jealousy and vengeance towards the fairer one, and at times end up tragically. This is possibly due to the sidelining of the dark or tan skinned.

During functions and get together, many go for ‘comparison games’, of the dark skinned to the fairer one. This would kindle up lot of negatives in the mind of the former, which ultimately reduces his/her confidence, and self-esteem, making them go for loner life, by moving away from the society, just because of an inferiority complex that they can’t be fairer like others.

It has become a passion of today to fair oneself in all means and levels. Many jumps from one fairness product to the other, hoping the new one will make them fairer than ever before, and finally ending up in a tone worse than before. Can things be fine and dandy in life, if one is ‘fair’ skinned? Should fairness be the benchmark to judge someone? Good looks are essential, but that doesn’t define the real person. Haven’t we all heard that looks can often be deceptive? Then how fair it is to judge someone on fairness!

Coming back to my friend, he still looks for a ‘fairer’ girl than a fair partner!