You can call this a soliloquy, because, of-late, this is what I am going through, and let me confess to you all that this is an extremely difficult and shattering experience for a writer.
When I started writing blogs, I had umpteen great ideas in my mind, which made me super enthusiastic and excited about the posts that I would be writing soon. So, blogging was often an enjoyable experience, I’ve always had some really good posts on my blog, which were received and appreciated well by a lot of people. But nowadays I am feeling blank, totally blank that I don’t really have anything to write about, in spite of being in the middle of a lot of happenings. Calling this “bloggers block” would be just ridiculous I guess, because I used to be so passionate about my blogs that words used to literally crawl down from my fingers, shaping up an interesting blog in no time. Even now, I do write quite a lot for my official works, but when it comes to updating my personal blog, it doesn’t happen easily. Added to this is the kind of culpable escapism that I am now addicted to, making me search for silly excuses for not updating my blog. So it doesn’t mean I can’t write, it means that I can’t write about what I want to write.
Yesterday, I kept staring at my laptop screen for hours together wondering what I should write, and quite a few random topics popped up in to my mind, but in vain. They didn’t trigger anything worth writing a catchy blog post, yet I tried wrote a few, but soon ended deleting them all as I didn’t feel they were good enough. I strongly fear I am running out of ideas, and I really want to get out of this emptiness.
My foggy brain needs a complete transformation, which should happen very soon, in order to bring back the confident writer in me, who could energetically scribble about anything and everything possible. I really want to come of out of this murkiness where I am stumbling so badly. I want to assure myself that I can always be the passionate writer that I was, and get my creative juices flowing again. For that I’ll have to go ahead and continue writing on a regular basis, even if my mind, my imagination, or my muse doesn’t support me. I will have to promise myself not to bail-out and stop at any point of time, as I can never ever imagine coming back to this foggy state where I can’t literally write anything other than the couple of official assignments that I do.