I was back from work the other day and saw shocked to see my roommate weeping inconsolably. If you ask me what lead to this, I won’t call it a reason, but something that uncovered the innate jealousy and inferiority complex that her boyfriend has. She’s a lovely & trustworthy girl who is in a pretty ok relationship with a guy who is working abroad, but basically from her place. Problems began when she turned out lucky enough to get a permanent government job with a decent salary, whereas the guy, who didn’t find it necessary to complete his masters, got a job in a private company abroad. He just couldn’t take in the fact that she is going well with her professional life, and this envy was growing day by day, and emerged out abruptly when he knew that she had a good male friend in the office, and was happy with her friendship.
I never felt he is an amateur jealous freak, as he took his steps slowly and carefully, questioning and abusing her over the phone every day. Abusiveness started increasing day by day, and soon he started calling her names, asking her things that no loving boyfriend would dare to ask. He was literally getting on her nerves, yet she kept replying calmly. Jealousy-fueled phone calls came every day, but I never asked her anything, as I hardly have the habit of interfering in other people’s matters, unless and until they ask me for a sincere advice.It was hard watching her in pain on knowing that her man couldn’t yet trust her just because she shared a healthy rapport with her male colleagues. How unfortunate! Insecurities and offensive remarks poured in nonstop, and she went on being defensive, explaining her side and assuring her loyalty.
Jealousy arises in a relationship because of sheer insecurity, and instilling confidence and love can take away the negative vibes of jealousy. But in her case this theory failed so badly, as he gave deaf years to whatever she said, and kept-on rebuking her insanely. After every phone call, I could see her crying her eyes out, as she couldn’t stop but keep lamenting about how much she loved him. I really felt helpless seeing the injustice done to her. Even after hearing his rebukes and scornful remarks for hours together, she kept saying that he so overprotective, lovable, and at heart. Despite my deep urge to contrary, I felt it’s better to be quiet, as I didn’t want to quash her faith giving her more painful moments.
After continuing the drama for about 3-4 days, yesterday I heard her speaking with daring confidence, and asked him to stop the mistreatment or end-up the relationship forever. I won’t say I was happy hearing this, as I know very well that it’s really hard to come out of a decade long relationship, but was happy to see her regaining self respect, which she had pledged to boyfriend of ten years. I am not sure where her relationship is heading to, but I know very well that trust has walked away from her love life, and may not return unless and until her boyfriend is willing to change, to become a bit more broadminded and humanely. This looks impossible right now or in short, things have turned really sour, but she is helpless and I think there’s nothing more she can do to sort things out.
Be it friendship or romance, blatant jealousy and inferiority complex should never be tolerated. Try mending by explaining the facts straight away, or cut-off the relationship for ever, as life is never too long to deal with worthless people and toxic minds. So why be submissive and endure all the pain for no reason?