How do you handle an insult; be it from a stranger or from someone who’s pretty close to you?Last day I happened to read a beautiful story of Buddha, and the way he handled an insult. Here’s it:
Once an angry man insulted Buddha. In reply, Buddha asked the man if people ever visited hi in his his home. Amazed at the change of topic, he replied yes. Later Buddha asked him whether his visitors ever brought gifts for him. The man again replied yes, and Buddha went on to further ask him what would happen if he refuses to accept the gifts, and who would the gifts belong to then? The man immediately replied that if he refuses the gifts, they would belong to those who brought them. On hearing this, Buddha replied calmly, “In the same way, since I do not accept your insults, they remain with you.”
I think there’s a fantastic message in the story.
Heard someone hurl an insulting comment about you? Take a moment & stop getting annoyed! Never roll your eyes and tap your fingers, because all these impulsive reactions won’t do any good, other than making your body and mind tired and worn-out, thus helping the other person feel that he/she has won in making you feel low and wounded.
If you ask me, the best way to handle an insult is to be silent and not to get offended. Facing an insult with patience is the best way to keep away your body and mind from all the unwanted stress and negativity that can take a huge toll on your mind & daily life activities.
Long back, whenever I used to be the soft target to shower insults and offensive remarks, I was often impulsive and left no stones unturned to to burst out in uncontrollable anger, incessantly howling and shouting at the person in front of me, frantically trying to give a ‘befitting’ reply, which I felt would lessen the impact of the insult that I faced. But now I am not in to all those impulsiveness, and always make sure to take time to figure out things wisely, before giving my replies. A few minutes of silence and analysis helps me calm down, so that I can take a sensible move, instead of giving a hysterical scream in anger.
Often insulting remarks are never sincere opinions that are aimed at helping you become a better person. So I don’t think we need to take time to find out the reason why people hurl such nasty remarks at us, as those verbal vomits would never have anything worth listening to. I think insulting remarks are nothing but sharp thorns that people purposefully lay on your road to success, to make you trip and fall down as quickly as possible. So why bother to step on them and bear the pain unnecessarily?
The best way to avoid the catastrophe is to ignore them and take a deviation. This will assure your mind that no one else other than you can make your mind feel bad about yourself. I keep doing this whenever I hear rude remarks, and this helps me retain my confidence, instead of getting myself burned in the fire of irrational and offensive remarks. I am not saying that you should sit back and let people insult you repeatedly, thus giving them a chance to take undue advantage of you and your silence. On the contrary, make sure not to lose your mind over an unnecessary comment or remark made by an uncouth attacker. Instead, if you laugh aloud when someone pisses you off, you will feel better, and can give him/her a humiliating reply through your laugh. But if you think you cannot make use of your sense of humour, you are always free to distance yourself from that person. Only we can make the choice whether or not to get insulted, so why not make the right choice?