My dream man: When the whole world is so keen on knowing my thoughts about my ‘dream man’, I really don’t have any kind of goose bump creating fantasies that they would expect from me. So I keep mum when I am asked about my ‘dream man’ concepts, and people keep mistaking this as the lack of feminineness. I don’t blame them at all, as I know that they represent the whole lot of ‘romantic’ females who do carry a good share of ‘fairy tale like’ dreams about their would-be life partner, whereas I may come under the category of ‘unromantic’ and dull women who silently fit in to the life that they are given, without any discontents and qualms.
They are totally wrong, but I haven’t yet tried to prove this. I am not as fragile as they think and I am not someone who can flexibly bend my mind to fit in to a life just for the sake of it. I am not naive either and don’t believe in getting a ‘prince charming’ like the ones in the stories of Cinderella and Snow White.
I believe that when it comes to a relationship, it’s always good to have minimum expectations, than carrying the tear-jerking memories of unfulfilled dreams. By this I don’t mean to say that I have never had any dreams about being with a romantic partner, but gone are the days of such teenage infatuations.
When it comes to looks, I don’t have any ‘starry’ fantasies, but this in no way means that I would opt for a man who is way below average in looks. I am not too broadminded enough to make such a choice, and hence if I say that I would be lying. He should have the average ‘manly’ looks, and should be educated well enough to get a decent job. But I really don’t want him to look like Tom Cruise or Gerald Butler, he need not be an intellectual giant to bore me to death or a multimillionaire to get me diamonds and platinum, nor do I want him to replicate the romantic gestures of Shahrukh Khan in DDLJ. He should be an average man, who is honest, trustworthy and loving. Above all, he should know how to respect women, which I think is a trait that one can find only in a minority of men in the country.
I have many friends in the hostel who keep watching those blown up romantic scenes of daily soaps and keep concluding that they would soon get a guy similar to those unrealistic characters on television. I really don’t understand how a woman can bear a guy who is over expressive in romance, crossing all borders of sanity and sensibility, thinking that such gestures would make a woman go weak on her knees. I don’t think any woman would accept an obsessively passionate person who makes her choke to death with his fervent love. In my opinion, people who exaggerate always turn out deceitful and cheat on their partners with absolutely no regret, whereas people who are sensibly average in their thoughts and actions often turn out to be utmost sincere.
When I mean sincere, I will never say sincere to the core, as no one in the world can be utmost sincere throughout their life. We are all human beings, and at some point or the other, we would definitely get wooed by someone or the other from the opposite gender. There’s nothing regretful in it, if we know where to limit our fantasies and get back to reality. But this is where many people get weakened and end up incestuous. It’s always easy to cross the thin line between fantasy and incest, but people often don’t remember that once it’s crossed, they will never find their way back, and thus get lost in the darkness, finally find themselves caught in the enticing claws of incest or adultery. Such weaklings are often victims of the ‘dream man’/’dream woman’ thoughts, and for this reason won’t be able to resist themselves on seeing a man/woman with the same ‘qualities’ that they had once dreamt of.
I think it’s good to have a sensible share of realistic dreams like expecting him to treat you with equal respect, become a good friend, avoid vices, keep away from being dominant, remain with you in thick and thin, and share your joys and sorrows equally. Beyond these ‘real’ dreams, one should never go on and knit a whole lot of unrealistic demands and fantasies, only to end up seeing that they can never ever find them in any guy that they come across. I believe that equality, sincerity and trustworthiness are very important to fall in love with someone, and if one can give me all these for lifelong, I can definitely say that I would jump in to a relationship with him, without even a second thought.