Love is not a formality or an obligation


I have two friends in the city. One is married to her childhood sweetheart and the another one had a totally arranged marriage as per the rigid guidelines of her more than strict community. Both live in the city a stone throw away from my hostel, and I often meet them during weekends. Although nearing to their first anniversary, I’ve always noticed that they are poles apart in the way they handle their marital life, and this has always been through provoking for the sheer difference in thoughts of two young couples of almost the same age.

Having taken their relationship to the next level, the couple who ended up in to a successful love marriage, are always seen happier than ever, thus proving that they made the right choice even after coming from two entirely different backgrounds and religions. I don’t want to say that they are the power couple that anyone would idolize, as I have seen many instances where they start calling names and fight like street dogs. But those instantaneous fights are arguments never last even for an hour, and they get back to each other’s arms with more love and affection. The fights and arguments are often for reasons sillier than the usually silly ones, and to my surprise I have never seen them fighting for any kind of serious matters. I have never seen then indulging in PDAs or showering showy compliments at each other in public, but one can definitely understand their love for each other right from the way they are. Some of you may perhaps say that since they have known each other, they would obviously know how to be with. I do agree that knowing someone for quite a long time is a pretty good reason to get bonded well, but it will happen only through one’s intentional effort, for which one has to have an ego-less, open-minded, and loving attitude. So, the fact that they know each other is not just enough to live a pleasant life that everyone would dream about.

On the other hand, even the couple who had the completely arranged marriage are very much happy, but unlike the previous couple, I have never seen any kind of intense love equation among these folks. They are just so plain all the time, and look as if they are living a very timetabled and mechanical kind of life that someone else has charted for them. They hardly have time for each other, and are often in their own worlds, be it in the office or at home. Of course, they do love each other, but there’s a kind of numbness in their relationship which is very evident.

At first I just felt I am wrong in concluding things only based on what get to see, but there came many situations where they proved me right with their pretentiousness and lack of passion for each other. The mental and emotional make-up and bondage that a loving couple would have was hardly found between them, instead what remained was the very mechanically lived moments, just for the sake of it. I have never seen them living a day to the fullest, instead hardly see them together, unlike the previous couple who have frequent lunch outings, dinner dates, surprise parties, vacations plans, and many more things in their list, and yet live a responsible life.

Some people are blessed with everything, and yet a true bondage does not blossom and grow among them, whereas some others have umpteen differences and still are blissfully connected to each other with the strong vibes of love and passion. Don’t mistake me, as I am really not against arranged marriages. But having the seen the life of these two friends of mine, I keep wondering which one will help find unending and immensely passionate love that lasts a lifetime.

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