After pondering my thoughts over this weird question that has been loitering around my mind for years together, and still keep lingering somewhere in the back of my heart, I am trying to put it down for the first time on my blog, just hoping to find a sensible answer to those years of back to back thoughts on this more than bizzare phenomenon. To be frank, it sometimes makes me wonder, sometimes gives me more than a few moments of nonstop laughter , and at times makes me sympathize, but all these don’t give me the satisfying answer that I’ve been looking since last couple of years. I know what you all are thinking about right now, and so let me tell you straight away what my confusion is! Why are there a lot of people, married men and women to put it specifically, failing to find solace and happiness in their partners whom they know for years, and run towards those ‘just recently met’ ‘friends’, looking for understanding, consolation, contentment, and peace of mind?
At times I keep drawing this weird conclusion that such people would be prone to some kind of physical attraction which makes them gel themselves to the less known strangers, drifting themselves apart from their long-term, faithful partners who had always been with them, in thick and thin, without any complaints and qualms. But at times I think there is something more than a mere physical attraction that makes them get attracted to the unknown, after forcefully separating themselves from the known, and finally ending up nowhere. After having witnessed one such couple recently, this thought has been pestering my mind almost every day, making me wonder about the strength and stability of relationships, no matter whether it’s between lovers or friends. There is this guy and a girl I know, both married to two wonderful people, yet shares more than an intimate relationship with each other; I mean by all means. Call it a healthy friendship and I beg to differ, as friends don’t get this physically intimate and show PDAs like these two. Jump in to a conclusion that they may be in love each other, and I will come up with a counter question –what they hell did they find in each other, which they couldn’t find in their respective partners?
I am not trying draw a prejudiced conclusion that all relationships can be fragile and ill healthy, but nowadays there are more than a major share of men and women, who find happiness in such new-found ‘nameless’ relationships, lingering on to them crazily, in whatever ways possible, assuring their mind and people around that they are living in their happiest space. If you ask me, I wouldn’t even take a second to say that they are living in fool’s paradise.
If people start driving themselves away from years long-term commitments, under the false and unjustifiable notion that their partners have failed to understand them even after years of togetherness, I don’t think such people have any right to expect anything from the new-found relationships, which they think can bring them the happiness and peacefulness that they think they haven’t received for years. There is no one, not even one person, in this world, who is blessed with the magical power to understand someone within days or weeks after meeting. So I think it would be the most foolish decision in life decision if a man or a woman does that to their long-term partner, after justifying themselves as desperate souls in search of understanding, contentment and comfort.
Or aren’t such decisions a kind of escapism? I sometimes think it is, and the justifications that they keep ranting about are just to get themselves a safer mask to escape from the realities that they fear about in life, or may be like I said before, some weird moments of enticing physical attraction that draws them to the ‘so called’ ‘significant other’, the kind of illegitimate relation that they want to cover-up with some legitimate-looking excuses.
But the sad part is that there is someone in all these cases who is left alone to suffer and cry, who keeps lamenting for not being able to ‘understand’ the partner, who keeps cursing themselves for not being able to meet their duties in the relation that they are/were in to. It’s here that the sadness likes, and it’s here that the unanswered part lies!
So what really goes wrong with people? When years long partner becomes less important, taking the backseat, and when the ‘not so known’ ‘friend’ takes charge, many people get doomed in the momentary happiness but often fail to hear the alarm of the forthcoming loneliness and pain that they would endure. Do you know why? The hurt that they knowingly or unknowingly create in their years long relationship, the sorrow that they give to the person who trusted them the most, they all would bounce back one day, bounce back to them so badly that they won’t even have even the faintest chances to get back in to the safer hands of the loved ones, those people who had loved them endlessly and unconditionally throughout their life.