Being unappreciated and unrewarded

I am a firm believer of enjoying every bit of what I do, and always make sure to give in my cent percent in to each and every task that I am entrusted do. Irrespective of being unconditional about what do on professional as well as personal front, I sometimes so badly yearn for a little appreciation for some of the best things that I painstakingly manage to accomplish, and most of the times end up saddened on knowing that I am not even given a hearty smile as a token of appreciation. It hurts; it sometimes hurts so badly beyond words!

They say flattery will get you nowhere, but is that always true? With respect to the circumstances and instances that I’ve been, I can say that it’s not true. In today’s world of deceit and thanklessness, flattery and buttering up do matter a lot to climb up the ladder of recognition. On a professional front, I am very much ahead of my peers in my work quality and dedication, but I get hardly noticed, appreciated, or rewarded as I lack the tactics to build up strategies of office politics, to shamelessly butter up , and to puke out flattery unashamedly.

I also lack the quality of shouting out my own praise and going around singing attention seeking sagas of my own works. Even when it comes to my personal blog, I hardly do anything to promote it or to forcefully grab someone’s attention in to the posts that I’ve been penning since the last five years. While other blogs which are not as old as mine gets widely promoted, all that I do is continue writing mine in the same old fashion. In short, I am not good in ‘self marketing’ which I think is the very crucial flaw that has put me on a stagnant professional life from where I don’t find any tempting outlet now, which can give me a complete reincarnation, putting me on an entirely new and inspiring professional front that ‘s encouraging, effervescent and absolutely rewarding. I wish; I wish someone find my capabilities, appreciates my talent, encourages me to do more, and rewards me for all the hard work and toil that I put into my works.

On a personal front, I don’t have any close to heart friends to go gaga about. Yet, I am in good terms with everyone around and always try to as much possible to help them whenever needed. In spite of being a doer more and a taker less, I’ve hardly had any one who took time to say a sincere word of thanks or appreciation from heart. As I said before, I keep making myself understand that I have to be purely unconditional, but yet, I cannot let go of my innately human thoughts and feelings which sometimes makes me upset when I am not even returned a thanks for something that I might have done after long hours of handwork and patience. I make sure not to show my unhappiness, but keep thinking about why this happens to me.

I’ve lived more than half of my life on this earth, but have met only a very few people who can completely understand how important it is to be thankful, to appreciate people, and to be encouraging. My mom keeps telling me to do things without any expectations in mind, but I know that I am not as good as her, and sometimes do expect a little in return, at least in the form of a happy smile or a warm hug. On a professional front too, like everyone, I love being congratulated for an achievement, being appreciated for the hard work and toil, and being motivated and empowered to do more. But to be frank, I haven’t had any such memorable moments yet, which I felt good enough to be cherished for the entire life.

I really yearn for a new phase, a new beginning, a rebirth, a total transformation on both professional and personal front, where I get to work and mingle with better people and better ambiance from where I get at least half of what I had been yearning for throughout these years. Although all my efforts to get this much needed change had been fruitless till now, I still keep trying as I hope I would get that deserving transformation sometime soon.

Do you think I am expecting too much?


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