Monthly Archives: October, 2013

The fault finders

They always keep sending those  wrong vibes conspicuously, and keep blabbering pesky words  that keep irking us every now and then. Want to know about whom I am referring to? They are none other than the kind of men folk who are born with annoying talent to find faults, just faults, often fabricated, in whatever we women do. If you’re wondering why I have come up with this topic abruptly, I do meet a good number of such men each day, who keep boasting about their ‘superior’ brain, at the same time taking digs at the female folks.  Sometimes I feel the desperate urge to yell at each one of them and make them understand the depth of my anger on hearing such false accusations and blown-up imaginations of their fickle mind, but I just keep quiet. It’s because I know very well that it’s hard to make them understand how mean they are. So in order to save my valuable time and precious energy, I just remain silent or rather make them ‘feel better’ by leaving their comments unanswered, as I know that they mostly take my silence as an approval of what they say.

There has never been a day when I haven’t heard from such men, who keep pretending to have seat of supreme intelligence right at the center of their ego-filled heads. Whether they see you doing something or coming up with a clever idea, these so called ‘walking encyclopedias’ start sending the vibes of negativism right from the very next moment ,often as trashy comments that belittle, degrade, and demote the hearer. Are they jealous? Can’t they stand the success of a woman? Or are they so badly insecure? If you ask me the reason why such men cannot stop grousing ill about whatever women say or do, I am not sure what exactly goes wrong in their mind and what triggers their need to foul mouth women? Perhaps it has some big fat explanation in one of those high-end psychological theories which is not my cup of tea, but I do know that there would be something seriously wrong in the minds of such toffee-nosed men, which makes them get cantankerous on finding that a woman can come up with intelligent ideas.

I’ve started feeling sorry for such men, rather than anger which I used to feel a couple of years back. With age and experience dealing with such people around, I’ve learned that such men would never leave away their boorish and egoistic attitude, the reason why I’ve now started ignoring what they keep blabbering, as I feel bad for their poorly malfunctioning brain that can hardly distinguishing the right and the wrong. I feel pity and I just laugh them off most of the time.

Blind to the core to ignore their own foolishness, such men are often rude and hateful enough to create a pitiful and foolish figure before others because of their ‘we are better than you’ attitude.I am too sure that these men, who have made fault finding their motto in life, will be actually the dirtiest baggage of faults, the reason why they are always keen on finding faults in others, as they are very well aware of their faults and insecurities, and are desperate to hide them by finding faults in others.With such  chauvinistic men around, I can definitely say that constructive criticism is almost extinct.

When I ‘dumped’ Facebook

I deleted my Facebook account! I know it is no big deal, but have to tell you this because of the many benefits that one gets by putting an end to the absolutely worthless social networking spree that most of us are addicted to. Yes, that included me to, until sometime back, when I lived on Facebook, right from dawn to dusk. I posted pictures and messages non-stop, I shared umpteen posts, most of them unread and unheard of, and I kept messaging to every Tom, Dick, and Harry, out of senseless courtesy. But for the office hours( as Facebook is ‘officially banned’) I lived in the social networking world throughout most of the bygone days, reading messages and replying to them from every place that you can ever imagine, including my toilet! I know it would sound ridiculous that I ‘Facebooked’ even at those odd places, but I don’t mind admitting it. So there came this particular moment of enlightenment, which happened about a few weeks back, when I felt I am desperately addicted to something that’s of no use, instead is stealthily taking away a lot of my precious time. So I decided to put an end to the whole episode by pulling the plug of my social networking life.

But I must tell you an important thing about this, and that’s about the difficulty of coping up with not having something that I had enjoyed for more than four years. It was not easy, and I had to kind of struggle for more than a week to come in terms with the fact. The truth is, I’ve always wanted to do this since last one year, but kept changing my decision, and made excuses, just because I felt I need to ‘keep up with everything and everyone. But I gathered the courage one day, and went on to delete my account, as I really wanted to get rid of the addiction that I’ve had to Facebook. Does that sound like a bit of exaggeration, a kind of cooked up story? It’s not, and you would know this when you break yourself free of your Facebook obligations. Facebook changes your entire life in the way you will never recognize until you decide to take that crucial step and leave away.

So finally I did it, and I really don’t regret for what I did. I don’t miss anyone either. You know why? Not having Facebook has brought this strong realization that more than half of our Facebook ‘friends’ are ‘real friends’. Since I deleted my account, I’ve started realizing that real friends don’t actually need any of those reminders to keep in touch with us, or to remember us. As long as you have your phone and email, they will definitely reach out to you and extend their love and support, as always. This was almost like rediscovering who my real friends are! In my case, more than three fourth of the so called ‘Facebook friends’ didn’t even turn up to ask me why I deleted my account. This is because Facebook can actually fool you and make you think that you have many good friends around. The occasional comments, pokes, messages, tagging, and shares, are actually misunderstood by many, for the depth of friendship that people have, which is actually wrong. One may realize this only after leaving Facebook.

I am not a Facebook hater, and nor am I planning to foul-mouth about it. I love social media, and am always fascinated by its tremendous growth and outreach. But what surprises me is the amount of time and energy that I save now by not being on Facebook. I spend more time reading and writing, have no more distractions during work, and have stopped spending the lion’s share of my evening time in-front of the laptop, replying, commenting, sharing, liking, and posting endlessly. I spend more time wisely and usefully, rather than worrying about messages and posts that I am ‘obliged’ to answer.

So I am on my road to make days more meaningful, make wise use of each moment, and reduce the number of things that I have to pay attention to each day, so that I can focus on that that are actually ‘beneficial’ for me.

Adieu Facebook! I don’t think I will ever miss you!

Some ‘loud bells’ in real and reel lives

As I am staying in a hostel, I never get to watch television on weekdays, as they often go in supersonic speed, right from waking up at 6.30 am to hitting the bed before 10.30pm. As we are told to embrace darkness by 10.30 (thanks to the skyrocketing electricity bills), I make sure to go to bed at least 10 minutes before the set warning time, in order to save myself from getting caught by the security guards, who keep parading around in search of the inmates who are lavishly using electricity after 10.30.

Although I don’t watch T.V, at times I scan through those YouTube updates of most of the daily T.V programs, just for fun and relaxation. It was during one such moments that I happened to see this program, yesterday, when I saw a man hurling  filthy abuses at a woman and even pushing and threatening her on a reality show. I was absolutely shocked and taken aback by the way he gave vent to his emotions, so openly on national television. Although I couldn’t  understand what actually led to the whole dirty fiasco, but it was appealing to see a man going ahead and verbally abusing a woman, showering all the nastiest words on her. Supposedly one of the much watched programs, I never felt they would telecast such a shocker on television, and horrify entire audience, along with making us wonder if T.R.P is the only factor that every show director keeps in mind during the making. No matter for what reason the fight happened, it was terrible listening to man badmouthing a woman to the and outrageously justifying his act. Whether the entire fight was real, or reel, just to get more viewership, it was more than nasty and ended up on a very violent note, which kept resonating the fact there are still a lot of men in our society who keep believing that woman can be subjected to verbal abuse whenever and wherever required, with no one to question such heinousness.

Even though I stopped watching the show right after the first few minutes, each word that he said kept echoing in my mind, making me wonder how women are perceived, and why men feel that loud and harsh words would make women vulnerable, weak, and submissive. I have no intention to generalize and come to a conclusion that all men are the same, but definitely there are quite a lot of male folks who still believe that ruthless words and loudest voices can hurt women and make them weak and cry. I pity them! I pity them for their narrow-mindedness, for being shamelessly chauvinistic, for being uncouth and dictator-like. Such men, I think, should be deprived of women’s love and care, and should be made to live lonesome throughout their entire  life. I don’t believe that this would make them understand what they’ve lost due to their egotism, but this would definitely save a woman from being abused.

Having telecasted the entire fight on national television, the makers of the show have in one way highlighted the arrogance of such men, but, on the flipside, they also made the audience watch and listen to all the abusive words and violent reactions that doesn’t befit a primetime show. A television program which is apparently for the audience to relax and unwind turned out to be the outlet of verbal vomit, thus leaving a sickening impact on everyone who watched the show. Was this actually necessary? I don’t think it was, as the editors were free to cut-off the worst part of that nastiest fight. Instead they didn’t, and went on to telecast it, even showed a teaser on that!

Scripted or not, the show left a huge shock and nauseating feeling in my mind that I have decided not to watch it again, no matter how good they are going to be in future. Being a woman, I have lots of respect for all the women folk, rich or poor, commoner or famous, the reason why I can’t stand a woman being abused on national television and people watching it with smile. It’s nothing but disgusting, absolutely disgusting!

Accessorizing in the right way

That bright and noticeable diamond studded earring on his left ear was what I noticed first, or rather immensely amused about, while meeting him amid some serious discussions about the new project. A twenty something, spotlessly clean shaven, and conservatively dressed computer programmer with a completely mismatching woman’s accessory, noticeably stapled on his right earlobe, that very funny sight of seeing him wearing a huge womanly earring gave me some moments of absolute hilarity.

It was funny to watch him walk around with an extremely feminine face, and that crystal earrings that augmented his womanly appearance. I had this sudden urge to laugh my lungs off but prevented myself from doing that right in front of him, as I never wanted to hurt his girly choice that completely disfigured his overall appearance. So I left the place soon, but couldn’t forget his new look, which kept me wondering about the reason why a man of his age would need such an out-of-the place accessory, firmly fitted on his ear, only to create some unwanted femininity to mask his raw, sensual, god-gifted masculinity, something that everyone would love and admire. To put it shortly, why on earth should a man wear such huge earrings, and make him look more womanish than manly.

Call it the newest fashion statement and I would vehemently disagree, as fashion has to always go as per the gender of a person, and for men, such huge and glittery earrings are totally a mismatch, and will look totally ‘un-masculine’. I know that an earring is never a benchmark to identify the sexual orientation of a person, but if someone is robbed of his mannish looks, gives him a style statement that disfigures his gender and identity, I don’t think he should take pains to pierce his ears and clip that sparkling accessory on his earlobe, with the very false notion that it would make him more handsome. It won’t, and it would never do that! On the contrary ,it will only adds-in a noticeable amount of feminineness on his face, thus unknowingly making him a hot topic of ridicule before others. It may be a matter of taste, but let me state something plainly before I go further; I really don’t like seeing men in such shiny and earrings. I find it more than disgusting and have always kept wondering why men are so fascinated towards earrings, and if they love that supposedly women’s accessory, they should love our anklets and bangles as well rite? If they trying to make themselves look sexier by attaching those sparkling pieces of jewellery to their earlobes, I would call it downright craziness as a huge earring clipped on to his ear, or sometimes both ears, would never make a man sexier, but will only pronounce his doubts and insecurities about his appearance and sexuality. I know that some people do it as a part of their religious customs, but those are often very small and hard to notice ones, which has nothing to do with changing a man’s looks. I hate those long and bigger ones that today’s metroseexual self-proclaimed fashionistas wear. If they are desperately hoping for an edgier look by doing this, they would get in on most of the occasions, but will be on the wrong way most of the times.

I know that many of you many disagree with my thoughts and to all those women who feel men look good-looking and sexy in earrings, here’s my question: If you feel that men are handsome in earrings, will you feel the same if they wear a pair of bangles or anklets, or even seeing your man dressing up like you? Earrings on men may not matter as long as they are short and barely discernible but when they turn out to be long, shimmering and noticeable, it just rips off one’s entire manly looks that are natural and god-gifted. Because, it’s all about outfitting oneself sensibly and attractively (not in the wrong way), and not just blindly follow a trend, irrespective of what it can do to one’s appearance and personality.

Why I love ‘people watching’

It’s yet another weekend and as always I hardly have anything to be excited about, other than the very usual must-do stuffs. So if you ask me about my hopes for the 48 long hours to come, I really won’t be jumping out of joy and giving you long list of weekend excitements that you would love to hear. It’s just not because I am a boring person who keeps aloof from the fun and happiness around, and stays within a self created world. I am very much like you all, but find myself very much uncomfortable amid crowd and noises. So I make sure not to turn up at places that are jam packed or noisy, but love taking long evening walks, and that too quite alone. Does that sound a bit uninteresting?

Actually it is not, because I love those few minutes or sometimes an hour, when I get plentiful of those enjoyable moments to watch people around, without getting noticed. I love watching different people and their activities and find it so enjoyable as long as they don’t notice me staring at them. And yes, I do know a good number of tactics to watch people without getting visible on their radar, to put it shortly, by remaining incognito. Naturalistic observation power, without being intruding and attention-grabbing, it comes out of practice and will stay within you if you have passion to retain those good observing qualities. I am not saying that I am an expert in it, but I am not too bad either. So whether I go for walks or sit in the coffee shop next to my hostel, finding multitudes of multifarious people is the best free time activity that I would love to indulge in, and that too preferably on weekends when I get more diverse people, when compared to weekdays, and can have a location from where I don’t look obtrusive and conspicuous.

If you ask me the reason why I love doing this, I do have a lot of reasons to say, but the most important ones include the opportunity to learn how different people are- sometimes weird and sometimes wonderful, their notoriously different behavior, relationship interactions, body language, as well as their attitude in public. People are sometimes so different that I often get numerous moments of fun and excitement watching them doing some downright crazy things in public, the kind of stuffs that you can’t even dare to imagine even in those wildest dreams of yours. To tell you one such incident, once I was in a restaurant that’s a bit far from my place, close to a lake. I was there to treat myself with a scrumptious lunch, and took a seat close to the window. There was middle aged man sitting on the opposite side, along with three women. It took me a couple of minutes to realize that one among them was his wife, because he was keen on showering his attention and praise on the other two women, while his wife was quiet all the time. It was more than piteous watching her gloomy face, while her husband was literally on cloud nine with the two other women around.

Here’s another incident! Once I was on my way to the hostel, and saw this couple, both teens, so weirdly indulging in PDA as if they are in their bedroom, with no one around. It was one of the trashiest sights that I have ever seen, and preventing myself from witnessing more embarrassments, I just fled the very next moment.
Telling about the weirdest of those doesn’t mean I haven’t had the chances to be a part of some priceless moments. Yes I’ve had, not one but several. But as always, the wider ones just come up so quickly, perhaps to keep reminding that some people can be so stupid and strange in public.

This secret little pastime of mine can literally whisk me away for hours together without getting caught and accused for staring at strangers. Because people are just unpredictable, people watching is such a wondrous pastime that one can have, plus a good and FREE learning experience too! All that you need to do is leave your prejudices behind learn how to observe without staring insultingly.