Last day, I was going through my mails and found this ‘emotion filled’ email from one of my long-term Facebook ‘friend’. I was in touch with him throughout my Facebooking phase, and was always in absolutely good terms. But unfortunately, he has this nastiest nature of being so badly abusive whenever he gets angry. It’s purely unintentional and I know that very well, the reason why I make sure to keep my lips sealed from uttering anything or replying to his rants or leave the conversation and go, whenever the molten lava of his anger and harshness starts overflowing in the form of rude and offensive words. Most of the times, he becomes fine within an hour or so, and will back to me saying a million sorry and begging pardon.
But this happened so badly about a day or two before I deleted my Facebook account, and predictably, he gave vent to his anger on me for no reason of my own. As-usual I ignored it and soon deleted my account, as I had been planned to do that since last month. Now, after a few days, as anticipated, he has forgotten the entire abusive incident, and wants me back on Facebook, to which I said a big blatant NO. I have never intended to pick up a fight with him, and will never do that either, as I know that it would only do harm to my mind, and kill my precious time, but yes, being away from his negative and harsh words, has done a lot for me, as I no more hear his rebukes for no reason. Now that the entire medium of quick contact is completely cut off, I am happy about being less connected with him. Although I don’t have any kind of hatred in mind, and still consider him as one of my closest friends, I don’t want to give him a free passage to reach me and get back to his usual way of shout and howl, whenever he is pissed off.
A bitchy colleague, a trespassing hostel-mate, an annoying bus-mate, I have always ranted about every other species of irritants who nagged and bothered me to death at some point or the other in my life. Yes, they had been nasty to me, and occasionally I have also been equally harsh in replying, as I’ve sometimes fallen prey to impulsive behaviour and have given those ‘befitting’ replies with the very false belief that they would soothe my soul and make me feel at ease after a terrible session of annoyance. But I think I am well past all those spur-of-the-moment behaviours that I’ve had till now. I want to tell you why I am saying this. As I said, I have always had the irresistible urge to reply, whenever I was annoyed of someone. But I have stopped doing that now, and to be frank, I just walk away and perhaps indulge in a hearty laugh wondering at their foolishness. It’s actually doing a lot for my body and mind, by drifting away the impending negativity and replacing it with a bunch of positivity and ease that makes me feel lighter and happier. I am not sure if this ‘tried and tested’ trick works for everyone, but it really works wonders for me, and chases off most of the negativities that lurk around me. It’s never a mammoth task, as all that you have to do is to free yourself from such ambience and people, or have the strong mind to ignore them. Its impulsiveness that often results in discourteous deeds and bad temperament, and all that you need to do is to avoid being impulsive.
I am not saying that I’ve become silent, docile, and submissive, but I just save myself from falling in to the pressure of impulsiveness. I drive myself away from spontaneous words and deeds, and make sure they are miles away from me. It works! It really works as you don’t need to put any huge effort deliberately, but just be cool and move away when you feel that you’re about to bump on to something that may spill negative vibes all around you, and increase your discomfort, or trigger uncontrollable anger.
Anger is humane, and so is impulsive shouting and bitching, but why give ears to them when you’re always free to leave the place, thus saving your mind from becoming a spectator of someone else’s irrational wrath? What matters more is the happiness and peace of your mind, and not giving someone a channel to pour out their frustration and anger. Just flee and save yourself! You needn’t worry about not being a good listener as such conversations, as far as I feel, are absolutely not worth listening, as it will only increase the heaviness and sadness of your mind.