What do you do if you find people close to you change their attitude to you overnight, for reasons best known to them? I know it’s a confusing question and a perplexing situation, when you’re dumbfounded on seeing the sudden indifference of a person you’ve known for months or perhaps years together. You may repeatedly ask or may request and plead to know what has actually happened or what exactly sowed the seeds of grave indifference and quietness, and the other person would shrug them all off saying the very usual answer that nothing has happened. After long, fruitless, and tiresome efforts to know his/her mind, you would sulk and rack your brains to figure out what exactly has happened, finally end up nowhere. I don’t know whether this has happened to you all, but I have had a few instances in life when I was left with absolutely no ways to make-out why some of those people who were supposedly close to me turned out so shockingly indifferent one fine day.
Such sudden twists in relationships were straining, confusing, and hurting in the beginning, and often left me in tears. I couldn’t know what exactly went wrong and why I was ‘ditched’ for apparently no reason of mine. Created mostly due to silly misunderstandings, most of which were cleared and sorted out in due course, those ‘superficial friendships’ where never reinstated with the initial liking and dedication, as I never felt I would be able to give my hundred percent to them all, as they lacked the initial trust and understanding that I had nurtured and boasted about. So, after fixing the cracks that had spoiled the relations between us, I have tried to maintain safer distances from the so called ‘friends’ in both professional and personal life. Neither have they asked me why I haven’t recreated the bond that we shared before, nor have I found it necessary to explain why I maintain those newly created boundaries in our relationships.
Relationships, no matter whatever you name it, I think, are firmly rooted on trust, understanding, and transparency. These basic pillars not only erect the relationship well, but also give it a firm grounding that has to remain as such for years together. A crack or rupture in any one of these basic pillars would topple down the entire construction, often beyond repair. No matter however hard to try to cement them back to formal shape, there would be that disfigured and distorted look that keeps echoing the fact that relation is no more in proper shape.
I’ve never had a huge circle of friends, as I had always been reserved, and focused more on my reading and writing habits, than making friends. As I have always believed that friendship is way beyond the superficialities that many of us see and accept as true for its hyped emotional essence, I never considered it necessary to go to the so called friends circles and ‘make friends’ artificially. From whatever relationships that evolved naturally, I’ve had and still have a very few circle of people whom I can call friends, and the others live a fence apart from them. By ‘the others’ I mean all the rest of the people whom I know as well as the ‘once friends’ who had abruptly cut-off their ties with me and later returned with hard to accept explanations to justify what they have done.
Call it doubt, misunderstanding, jealousy or any other name that sounds sensible to justify what you feel, I think they all should be put clearly in words, and should get clarified, right way, so that your relationships never get affected by what you think and feel about the other person. You may be right or completely wrong as well, but that should never be an excuse to hurt someone who has been with you in thick and thin and respected you throughout for the way you are. Make things clear, articulate your feelings sensibly, never take a diplomatic stand, and maintain transparency and trust in every relation that you have, and in spite of all if someone leaves you for baseless reasons, all that I would say from my experience is just FORGET THEM, because, they are absolutely not worth your love and friendship. Keep them at bay and move on, as you have many other better things to do in life.