Being Boyfriendless


blogIf the world believes that having a boyfriend is essential or rather indispensable, I have to admit that I have no qualms of not having that male companionship in life. If you’ve started brainstorming to dig out the reason why I made this much startling revelation, I can clear the air right away. I met a 60 plus years ‘younger’ friend of mine the other day, and amid our usual chitchats she came up with this somewhat odd question, asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend when every other woman in the rest of the world has. I was much amused by her inquisitiveness, but chose not to answer, as I felt that no reason of mine would sound rational to her, especially when she had had a sudden and surprising meeting with her granddaughter’s boyfriend, just a few minutes before meeting me.

Although I chose not to answer, I was not far away from a much foreseen debacle, as she soon started giving me a pretty long lecture on the benefits of having a handsome, educated, and ‘bankable’ boyfriend, or precisely someone like her granddaughter’s male companion whom she met a few minutes back. I was desperate to leave and save myself from more deeper conversations, but didn’t want her to notice that I am forcefully bidding goodbye to flee from her ‘how-to-find-a-boyfriend’ tips that I am compellingly made to listen. So I came up with a sudden but quite sensible sounding excuse that I was getting late for the office, and luckily she accepted without any second thought, allowing  me to leave.

Even when I was walking back to my room, I couldn’t help but think about the question that she had put-forth, and the reasons that she has cited one after the other to conclude that I am very much unfeminine, and lack the charm to lure a man. Although I was hardly bothered about her viscous remarks about my femininity, I kept thinking how the world around me has changed over the years. There was a time in my life, way back during my high-school days, when even the thought of having a boyfriend was considered as contemptible. Yet, a few of them, the smart girls’ team, had their share of secret affairs with some of the much good looking and well-off boys in the school next to ours. Often showered with lovey-dovey talks and expensive gifts from their sweethearts, the girls were always on cloud nine, and we the much less smarter ‘plain janes’ felt that all those fairy-tale relationships would last for a lifetime, akin-to those ‘happily ever-after’ stories and movies. But to our surprise they never did, rather faded-away almost the very next day we completed our schooling.

Dad’s concern about my future or grandmother’s worry about her teenaged granddaughter, I am not sure what led me or ‘forced’ me to accept the admission to a woman’s college, but I have to confess that my family was more than moderately conventional those days, the reason why they preferred a woman’s college for me, and not co-ed. So my entire college time was not as adventurous and funny as it had to be, but I have had some fare share of chances to watch and hear some of the great romances of my friends. But to be frank no one much paid attention on me as I was never a head-turner like most of my college mates. A relatively unlikable and nerdy looking woman, or to put it more precisely, I was the most unappealing female in the college, or so said most of my college mates. Silent and dead-serious faced most of the times, dressed in dull colors, with no ornaments to adore my teen looks, I walked around wearing thick glasses, carrying a huge piles of books. While most of my girl pals used to blabber about their love life, I was always a silent but smiling listener, and they in-fact loved having someone like me around, as I had a pair of very patient ears and widely popped out eyes that used to eagerly pay attention to each and every word they uttered. Seven years and seven hundreds of those college romances, one after the other, some succeeded down the lane, whereas some others gradually faded as seasons passed.

Jobs and job changes dominated my life a few years from then, until I settled in this fast-paced city, where romances are short-lived and sexual urges continue to rule-over selfless love and mutual understanding. I still haven’t evolved to become a head turner, but am living a contented life amid a huge moving crowd. To be frank, I don’t expect that fairy-tale romance, and for this reason, I am not much affected when I become the butt of ridicule for not having an arm candy by my side. But yes, I do wish to have someone who can be my friend for a lifetime, and hope for it with all my mind and soul.

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