Reverse cougarism or entranced by youth and naivety


advice

Is there a ‘marriageable’ age for men and women? If not for men, our country still believes that women should enter into matrimony at eighteen or even by their early twenties; much against the growing trend of unwillingness to settle down without a stable career to one’s credit. Although one can find several reasons behind the predominant misconception, the reason that lures men to marrying much younger women is their supposedly fertile wombs. No matter whether one reaches to the highest strata of the society, or step down to the uneducated slum dwellers in the country, many people continue to adhere to the misapprehension that women in their late twenties and early thirties might face several hurdles to embrace motherhood. As the naivety of twenties get preferred over the maturity of thirties, this unwritten conventional rule of procreation surprisingly doesn’t apply to the men in the country. Even astoundingly older men are cautious about listing age as a parameter while choosing partners, and carry a significant amount of negative stigma regarding women of their age, or a year or two younger to them. Precisely, youthful and voluptuous bodies are the yardsticks, while emotional connect and maturity often take the back-seat.

On the other hand, a woman who shapes up her career and life in her twenties, and achieves both emotional and financial stability to embark on the matrimonial journey might find it hard to bump into prospective matrimonial alliances from single men. Tired of the long and humiliating wait on the matrimonial market, and having left with hardly any options to look forward to, such women are often forced to accept divorcees or much older men. A third and widely chosen option might be to remain single for the rest of their lives. Matrimony in the country is very often narrowed down to a legal way of procreation. Healthy wombs are the destiny creators and child bearing abilities are the sure shot ways to being on the forefront of marriage market. But here lies a crucial question: are women in their early twenties invulnerable to all the health risks that can rob off one’s reproducing abilities? Are men insusceptible to health problems? If both men and young women too can be prone to such health disorders, the world has no right to mortify a thirty-something woman with irrational presumptions on fertility. That said, here is another reason that stands close second to the much-prevalent myths on women’s fertility.

Virginity, or the intactness of the hymen, is where both men and some elderly women have a strong and erroneous misapprehension about, though medical technology currently has surgical ways of fixing that broken sign of virginity. But much to our shock and dismay, no one among the conventional thinking group is specific about having an emotional ‘virginity’ or faithful mind to completely embrace the chosen partners and their flaws. This prevailing lack of emotional closeness and bondage is perhaps the strongest and most relevant reason that has been sky-rocketing the number of divorces in our country. For lack of love, understanding, and strong commitment towards respective partners, neither separations nor fun-flings and extra marital affairs are matters of shock, disbelief, and regret these days. So why is the world still persistent on physical virginity, when the necessity is to have a committed and truthful mind? More demeaning is the delusion that women who successfully traverse their career roads thrive at the cost of their virginity. It’s often upsetting and awkward to meet men and women who have wrongly preconditioned minds that are engraved with the mistaken belief that a success career comes with sleeping with several men. Much surprisingly, this conventionality doesn’t apply to successful men, which is perhaps for lack of a membrane and a blood spot to prove the much-talked-about virginity.

A third and perhaps the most foolish of the delusions is the fear that women get deprived of their attractiveness once they cross the borderline of their twenties. While looks are the least important among the necessities to have a fruitful marital life, finding the world continue to relate it to nuptial bliss is belittling and prejudicial. Despite excelling education and career, our men continue to fantasize on young and physically virginal brides, and overlook the need of a partner who can promise a strong emotional bondage, a helping hand in building-up a stable and happy life, unhindered faithfulness, and unwavering commitment. More shocking is their hard-hearted attitude of cutting women off their career choices and social life, wanting themselves to be confined to homely chores. However, for lack of experience, wisdom, and maturity, young and brainless wonders who are content with being eye candy might bear all the domination and superiority, while those with good quantum brainpower and worldly experience might hardly bear the dominance for quite long.

Irrespective of being phenomenal in education and career choices, when it comes to dating and marriage, sadly, several men are completely preoccupied with the idea of age, which is perhaps the weirdest and the least important factor to be obsessed about. Will there be a day when men stop judging women based on their age, looks, hair colour, height, weight, eyes, and cup-size? Or do men in thirties and forties believe in the myth of recapturing and maintaining their youth, exuberance, energy and passion by mating with younger women?

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